five minute mug brownie

so i don’t know about you, but i love to bake. and usually, when i bake, it’s because i wanted something specific that day and now i have a whole batch of that dish that i don’t really want anymore but i have to get rid of it somehow. it usually just becomes this frustrating ritual of bake, eat, decide i’m done, try to eat more, let it sit on the counter for a week, throw away because it’s hard as a rock.

and that, my fellow baking rut people, is where microwave mug cakes come in. take today for instance. i’m not a huge chocolate fan, i don’t really like the taste, but when it comes down to it, i do get those cravings sometimes. even when i’m not bleeding out of my hoo-ha, sometimes i just really want a brownie. so today whilst suffering through this craving like usual, i was scrolling through pinterest and discovered microwave mug cakes. now, this is not new to me, it’s just something i wanted to try at one point and then forgot about completely (new theory: pinterest topics; silence conspiracy or just easily forgotten?). so, i made one. and yes, it literally took me five minutes and only four dishes/utensils, all of which are dishwasher safe. the recipe i’m using is slightly adapted from this one, but with a few adjustments because of my different mug size and microwave power.

so here ya go, and enjoy! i promise it’s well worth the *effort*.

ingredients:

4 tbsp all purpose flour

4 tbsp sugar

3 tbsp cocoa powder

2 tbsp egg, beaten

3 tbsp milk

2 tbsp vegetable oil

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

methods:

combine all the dry ingredients (first 3), then add in the wet ingredients (last 4). mix together until smooth, then microwave for 1 minute. i added another 30 seconds because mine wasn’t fully cooked through, but that’s up to you. enjoy!

 

 

thank you

almost five years ago now, my dad started driving me to school in his white pick-up truck, something that hadn’t happened since i was in the first grade and he was still working for his old company. at that point in time, my sister was about three or four, and my mom relied more on my dad to transport me to and from school. i can remember very distinctly a few half days at my school where my dad would pick me up at 12:30, my pink hello kitty backpack clutched tightly over my shoulders, and then take me to his favorite pizza place, shakey’s. there hasn’t been a shakey’s in my state for over ten years now, and i really wish i could go back there.

shakey’s was always dark, at least how i remember it, and the red leather booths were cracked and ripped. my dad always ordered us a pizza to share, two waters, and a side salad bar to share. and by *share* i mean he would let me load up my plate with croutons, cucumbers, and black olives to snack on while we waited for our pizza, and then fill his plate with a salad he’d take a few bites of and then never finish. sometimes, there’d be a baseball game playing, and i grew up knowing three things about baseball. 1. never cheer for the yankees, no one really likes them 2. always cheer for the team whose home was closest to our home state, and 3. unless the rangers or mariners are playing, in which case you cheer for them.

my dad taught me a lot of things, some about baseball, some about life, but most about music. his old truck had a tape deck in it, something most trucks today haven’t had for years, and he used to play all his old tapes from high school for me. when i was really little, he used to sing to me. songs like the tennessee waltz or the ugly bug ball were what i would fall asleep to, my dad’s personal favorite for me being abracadabra by the steve miller band, for my name, abi.

my grandma’s a piano teacher, and she’s sung in a professional choir since she was my age. unfortunately, my dad got no where near her talent, his voice being much closer to that of an off-key walrus. despite him knowing this very well (my grandma has never missed a chance to remind him of it), he sings all the time. if something someone says reminds him of a song, he will sing the chorus, off-key and as loud and he pleases, a little habit i’ve picked up from him.

those rides in his old white ford were times i got to hear music my mom never would have wanted me to at such a young age. my mom’s side of the family is almost stubbornly christian, and at the time the only music i was exposed to was christian pop radio, and those old cassette tapes in my dad’s truck. tom petty and the heartbreakers, the police, the steve miller band, john cougar mellencamp. i grew up on this music and the story behind it all, like why john cougar mellencamp had three different names, or why full moon fever was both the best and worst tom petty album. i remember being so confused by the police’s name, and then loving them almost as soon as i heard their music. my favorite was, and still is, message in a bottle, something i don’t think my dad ever understood, seeing as he found it one of their worse songs.

my sister grew up on this sort of thing as well, but not in the way i did. i think her memories of my dad’s musical education are significantly lesser than mine. around the time i turned eight, there was a shift in my attitude towards my dad. there’s really no better way of putting it than i hated him. i didn’t want to be near him, and every time i was left alone with him, i threw a fit. i don’t really remember why, but about that time as well, he sold his old truck with the tape deck and bought a new one, similarly white, but with a cd player. he got a new job, this time at a company farther away from my school. my mom was the one taking me to school now, and for about 5 years, i was limited almost entirely to the christian pop stations my mom played and the 80’s pop station my best friend’s mom played when she picked us up for carpool in the afternoons. anytime i was in my dad’s truck, he played news stations with his newly acquired satellite radio.

we moved. i graduated sixth grade. i started seventh grade, a new campus, this time only five minutes down the road from my dad’s job. all of a sudden, it was like first grade all over again. except this time, instead of having all my dad’s tapes and being at his mercy to choose, i was in charge of the satellite radio. one of my dad’s presets was the 80’s station my best friend’s mom used to play, before her dad was laid off, we moved farther away, and she had to start school at the public junior high close to her new house instead of at the secondary campus of the private christian school we’d attended together since kindergarten.

the 80’s station became a permanent part of our morning ride to school. if you wanted to know the three songs that defined my junior high years, i could tell you easily; beat it by michael jackson, abracadabra by the steve miller band, and raspberry beret by prince. at least every morning, the station would play a prince song, and raspberry beret very quickly became one of my all time favorite songs. of course, i could also sing you pretty much every other one of his hits by the end of those two years. i was always fascinated by my dad’s ability to name a song, and the artist who created it within hearing the first few bars of the song.

by my freshman year, i’d actually started listening to other music and rejecting the repetitive christian pop music the rest of my school and family chose. the end of my eight grade year, we were listening to the classic rock station as well, my dad filling me up with new stories and artists to listen to, as well as quizzing me on who sang that song or what band was that. i received a stevie nicks’ cd for my birthday, and then a foo fighters cd in my stocking, and after falling in love with the foo fighters’ sound, i started to branch out into finding my own favorite music. artists like nirvana, paramore, fall out boy, dead sara, blink-182, royal blood, and halsey quickly became my favorites, but to this day i still don’t know what genre would classify as my favorite. a little bit of everything, i suppose.

on thursday, april 21, 2016, prince was found dead at his home. i don’t think i’ve ever cried more for someone i didn’t know in person than i did when i found out he was dead. if it weren’t for his music, i don’t think i ever would’ve become the music fan i am today. so thanks, dad, for introducing me to music. and thank you, prince, for everything you’ve done, and how you’ve shaped me today. the world will never be the same now that you’re gone.

 

amortentia and other such speculations

i am a fangirl, no question, and because of this, i really do wish i lived in another world sometimes. and if i can’t actually live there, at least i can think of what i’d be like if i did. so today i will be exploring these things! i won’t really be looking at what character i’d be, it’s more like what i’d be like as my own person in these worlds, so this will exclude quite a bit of my regular fandoms. let’s go!

so unlike most people, my first harry potter experiences didn’t come until last year, when i read the books for the first time. i live in a fairly strict household (reason numero uno why i can’t wait for college), and my mom didn’t like the books because “witchcraft”. my dad on the other hand, didn’t give a shit what i read.

so, after about three years of pleading and begging, i finally reserved every single book at the library… and then proceeded to read every single one of them in a day each. and then re-read them. in short, i’m obsessed, just like every other human being on the planet (except for my mother, for obvious reasons). and, like every other human being on the planet, i wish i’d gotten a certain letter in the mail for my eleventh birthday. i also really wonder a lot of things about my life had i recieved that letter.

what would my patronus be? what would my amortentia smell like? what core would my wand have? what hogwarts house would i be in? actually, i already know that last one. ravenclaw pride!!!!!!!!!! it really wasn’t ever a question, especially after the six different quizzes i took. if you’re wondering what yours might be, take this quiz

so i’ve actually been wondering this quite a bit lately, and it’s something i’d never actually thought of until i randomly remembered the word the other day and it occured to me that i didn’t really know what my amortentia would smell like, which was the inspiration for this post. now, i’ve never really been one for scents, but the inner hermione in me loves everything about the idea of potion studies, even though i hate chemistry.

in case you’re not familiar with amortentia, it’s basically the strongest love potion in the harry potter universe, but since love can’t be artificial, it just makes the person under its spell think they’re in love. it smells different to everyone, according to what you’re attracted to and what you love. when hermione smelled it in half blood prince, it smelled like parchment, freshly mown grass, spearmint toothpaste, and ron’s hair (the one she freaked out about in the movies in case you haven’t read the books). for harry, it was treacle tart, broomstick handle, and ginny weasley’s scent (“something flowery”). here’s what i’ve come up with for myself:

  • mango-vanilla body wash, or the air in my room right after i shower.
  • movie theater popcorn, or when you walk into the theater and the air is sort of sweet as well as the strong popcorn smell because of all the candy and soda.
  • the air walking into a used book store, kind of musty and off but you know it’s old paper because sometimes you stick your nose into the spine of books just ’cause.
  • campfire smoke + the guy you’ve been sitting next to the whole bonfire, even if you don’t even like him, it just combines and it’s really nice (for the record, i went to homecoming with the guy i sat next to at a summer camp bonfire and i’ve come to the conclusion that this is probably why. it didn’t work out, but we’re stillscreech_owl friends).

another thing i think every potterhead wonders is what their patronus would be. i already sort of knew this one, an owl, but i narrowed it down a little better to a western screech owl. loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook. isn’t it sassy looking and fabulous and adorable?! it’s meeeeeeeeeeee. for those of you who know me in person, don’t even try and deny it. that bird is me. it’s dark in color, has a fabulous death glare, is small but not tiny, and even the resting bitch face is on point. and besides looks, owls are known in pop culture to be intelligent and in real life to be very creative and also, more importantly, nocturnal. like meeee. on a side note, look at those cute widdle ears. awwwwwwwww. it’s official. i found my spirit animal/patronus. don’t even try and convince me otherwise.

now this next one, my wand type/core, i’ll admit i had to log in to pottermore for the first time in months to remember. i did have one! and i knew it was the same size/type as hermione’s! i just couldn’t remember the core… also, if you don’t already have pottermore… why? so here, no more excuses. my wand (according to pottermore) is 11 1/2 inches long, unyielding, made of willow with simple carvings around it, with a dragon heartstring center. basically the exact same as hermione’s, which i am perfectly okay with. after all, hermione was my nickname for most of last year’s theatre production.

next, i have one of my more minor fandoms, something the movie people really fucked up for me, divergent! i actually really have no idea what my faction would be, as my personality is really all over the board. i’m one of those more creative ravenclaws, but i’m also punk as fuck, and also a huge fangirl, and also really introspective. so i dunno! i took the aptitude test for the first time for this post, and got a tie between candor and amity. i definitely see the amity thing, because creativity, but i’ve also read the books and i’d really prefer not to be drugged happy because punk af = down with societal norms and standards. also, i see the candor because i’m a very blunt person, but i also do lie quite a bit and (even though it’s probably really bad) see lying as an important trait to have. so i guess i’m divergent…? now i’m even more confused.

this last one has to do with percy jackson and friends. now, i’ve already established that i’m a ravenclaw, and we put studies first (most of the time hehe), but that’s been contradicted for me when it comes to my camp half blood cabin. for the longest time, i always figured i was in cabin 6, athena, goddess of wisdom. that’s what the quizzes tended to point to, but after the lost hero came out and i realized that i’m so much like piper, i started to see the similarities between myself and cabin 10, aphrodite. the aphrodite kids get such a bad rap for being into clothes and beauty, which i am, and being very vain and high and mighty, which i hope i’m not, but they’re also about love, and there is nothing i love more than love (pun intended). i ship everything, everything about relationships is fabulous to me, and, even though it’s stereotypical of me, i really do like shopping. if you’re wondering what cabin you’re in, this is by far the most accurate one i’ve taken.


sorry about last week and for the late post today, but i’ve got a lot of good stuff planned for the next couple weeks so i’ll try and make it up to you. writers block + depression + three performances in three days + staying up really late and living in a pig sty that entire time = not so good mental health for abi. i really needed that break, but i’m up and swinging again this week. hope you enjoyed this post, let me know what your amortentia/patronus/hogwarts house/wand/camp half blood cabin would be, and i’ll be back friday, this time with something a little different. you’ll like it though, i promise!

xxx abi

sunshine blogger award tag

my first tag! yay!(?) yes, i know i promised friday posts, but i was travelling friday and will be later today so i’m combining friday and sunday posts into one filler post. also, i have no idea what i’m doing, so just go with it…


rules:

  1. thank the person who nominated you
  2. answer the 11 questions set by the person who nominated you
  3. nominate 11 other bloggers and set up 11 questions for them to answer

i was nominated by ruby’s cadence, who has been really sweet to me lately in my excursion into the lifestyle blogging world and also been a really nice fellow teen blogger. thanks, girly, we haven’t really talked but you’ve been so nice in tagging me for this 🙂


what is your favorite song at the moment?

the past week or so, i discovered “the few that remain” by set your goals, ft. hayley williams. paramore was the first band i really got into when i started developing my own musical taste, and they will forever be one of my favorite bands, so i love hayley williams. i thought i’d heard every one of the songs she’d been featured on, so when this little gem popped up in a spotify playlist i’d been listening to, i was thrilled. i even forced kyla to listen to it, which she did reluctantly, but i assume sort of maybe enjoyed it? anyway, it’s a fantastic song for that teen angst and will probably show up in my april favorites post at the end of the month.

if you could have anything at all, what would you have?

right now, probably a mac because my laptop sucks. it’s a lenovo yoga i got for school and i’ve had it for almost three years now. 0/10 would not reccomend. over the past few years it’s basically become less and less functioning and now it’s literally falling apart at the seams. i’ve wanted a mac for a while, but the yoga was cheaper and touchscreen so i got it instead, figuring it’d work just as well. definitely regretting that right now. so yeah, either that or a boyfriend. that’d be nice, too.

favorite flowers? 

in general, i really love wildflowers because they seem like very independent flowers to me, and you find them in the most random places. my favorites are cornflowers and daisies. i also really love lilacs because i grew up in a little brick house with lilac bushes all along the fence that bloomed all through the summer and were absolutely gorgeous and my favorite shade of purple. when we moved, the people who moved into our house tore them all down and every time i see it, i get really sad because our new house only has a few and they bloom on the side of our neighbors so we don’t even see them.

what color is your current bedspread/duvet?

my duvet is purple with white polka dots, and then i usually put a plain white, almost vintagey looking bedspread on top of it during the winter because my room is in the corner of the house and doesn’t get heated well. also, where i live is really cold in the winter and i’m always cold, so i sometimes add a fuzzy pink blanket with butterflies on it underneath during the super cold months.

hot tea, iced tea, or no tea? 

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea. it is my life source. i make sweetened sun tea during the summer and it is literally my favorite thing in the world. i drink like ten glasses a day. i have a problem.

do you burn scented candles?

no, but i really do wish i did. my mom doesn’t like candles that much,they make her nervous, even though i love them. the candles that i do have are mostly just decorations, but i want a few scented candles when i redo my room this summer. either that or at least a scentsy type thing so my room smells good.

does your alarm always wake you up or do you have to set multiple?

i have never actually been able to wake up to alarms, my mom has woken me up every morning since i started school. which yes, i know, is not a good habit, but is also a result of the fact that i haven’t been able to sleep a full night’s worth since i was little. i generally sleep about 3-5 hours every night, which has been the routine since i was about seven. my mom actually bought me a sonic powered alarm clock, and i still sleep through it every morning, something i’m working on trying to stop doing for a while now.

when was the last time you held your mother’s hand?

not necessarily hold her hand, but i laid on her lap today watching tv. i’d like to think i have a really good relationship with my mom, even though we’re both really different and have different senses of humor and interests and music tastes, i can basically tell her anything and i love shopping and baking and seeing movies with her.

do you prefer lamp light or overhead light?

lamp light, always. my lamp has like three different settings, which is really nice, and i hate turning on my room light if i’m just hanging out in there with my laptop. lamp light is just more natural to me, it feels cozier.

backpack bags or satchels?

satchels, but i also prefer backpacks at school because they’re bigger. i do like satchels in general, though, they’re handier and i just like the way they feel compared to backpacks.

how are you today?

i mean i could be better, but it’s been a pretty good day. i just ate a bowl of cookie dough ice cream and i saw my cousin today, so yeah, been pretty fun.


 

so here i encounter a problem. i’m a rather new blogger, and i don’t even know if i have 11 people to nominate. i’m gonna try, but no promises.

nominees:

natalie’s lovely blog

a girl’s voyage blog

basic & bipolar

sincerely reine

read sleep fangirl

there’s five, and i guess it won’t really count because i don’t have eleven, but it was fun to participate in this anyway, even if i didn’t quite follow the rules.

my questions for those nominated (with my short answers in parenthesis) are:

  1. would you go vegetarian or nah? (i’m already vegetarianish, i only eat white meat)
  2. favorite musical artist and/or genre? (tom petty and the heartbreakers/ alt rock)
  3. how would you describe your personal style? (edgy alt rocker with a hint of preppy)
  4. do you taste a difference in coke or pepsi? (i honestly can’t, sorry)
  5. who is your favorite relative outside of your immediate family? (my aunt kozzette)
  6. what is the last show you binge watched? (arrow, just last night)
  7. team cap or team stark? (team stark forever!)
  8. what do people usually find surprising about you? (how messy i am, i seem super organized but i’m actually a hot mess literally and figuratively)
  9. go-to coffee shop drink? (mocha)
  10. earbuds or headphones? (earbuds all the way)
  11. what is your favorite computer trick? (ctrl + z = undo, this has saved my life so often)

i hope to do more q&a’s or just informational posts about myself, but other than that, just go check out the other lovely people mentioned above, and i will be back wednesday for another life post.

xxx abi

 

“fan cred”: a damn rant

wow i am so pissed right now it’s not even funny.

be forewarned, this is something i feel super fucking strongly about, and if you don’t already, by the time i’m done here, you should. at least, that’s my goal.

so here we go. (also, if you want to get super pissed with me while reading this, listen to the skate park punks playlist on spotify)


if you know me at all, you know that i am a full-blown fangirl. like superwholock obsessed, harry potter loving, fanfic and headcanon writing fangirl. if you just sit and have a simple conversation with me, you will walk away with absolutely no doubt that i am a fangirl. it’s simple as that.

i love letting people know what i love and trying to find a common ground with them so that we can have cool and interesting conversations about the things we love that we have in common. if i find out you’re in my hogwarts house, (represent, ravenclaw!) or we have the same favorite doctor (nine appreciation, anyone? nope? okay then), or we both obsessively love categorizing tv characters into mbti types, i will want to talk to you because that’s just what i love! i am a very passionate person, and when i love something, believe me, you will know it.

that having been said, i also feel very strongly about respecting other people’s ships and opinions on their fandoms or, in general, just what they love and are interested in. i do try really hard to respect what people enjoy and their opinions on it because being told that what you love sucks is rough. trust me. on a side note, if you insult my la dodgers, be prepared to fight me. the only time i will hate you for what you love is during baseball season and/or spring training.

this leads into my number one pet peeve: “fan cred”

if you tell me to prove my fucking fan cred or nerd cred to you, i will walk away and never speak to you again you disgusting human being.

“oh you’re a whovian? name all thirteen doctors in order, including the war doctor.”

“oh, i really only watch the new series, sorry, i don’t know the newer doctors. i was about to start the classic series when netflix removed it, so i don’t really have the opportunity to watch the older ones and i also don’t really know the older doctors either. i can name the war doctor-12, though! john hurt, christopher eccleston, david tennant, matt smith, peter capaldi. i know troughton and hartnell and pertwee were the first three but i don’t know what order… i really need to watch those!”

“oh, you don’t watch the classics and you can’t name all thirteen? i guess you’re not a real whovian then, sorry. you should really stop calling yourself one.”

fucking no. 

so you’re telling me that i spent two years of my life watching a few episodes a day and occasionally marathoning to finish a season and be able to call myself a whovian because i’ve seen every episode of the new series for nothing? that because i haven’t spent the time and money to watch the classic series i am not a real whovian? um, no. that shit took time, that shit took grades, that shit took emotions that i am still not prepared to deal with. that shit left me emotionally crippled and unprepared to deal with life and i am not a real whovian because i can’t name all thirteen doctors? get the fuck out.

wait so i can’t call myself a real heroes of olympus fangirl because i can’t name all the cabins and their patron gods and occasionally forget the names of some minor characters? but i’ve read all ten books and hate the movies… why can’t i call myself a cabin 10er? (10 is aphrodite, btw. yes i know, i’m a daughter of aphrodite and a ravenclaw. chill out it’s not that big a deal. i ship literally everything, what else would i be?)

wait so i’m not allowed to be a true sherlockian because i don’t know all the trivia? but i’ve seen every episode and know all the fan theories about moriarty and have my own!

wait so i can’t be in the marvel fandom because i don’t read the comics? i wasn’t raised on comics, i don’t have a comic book store anywhere near me, and i’m not really very good keeping up with that sort of thing… i’ve seen every single one of the movies, though, and i can tell you the names of all the actors and their characters’ real names. like hawkeye is actually clint barton, played by jeremy renner. i still can’t? okay then.

fucking no.

i’ve noticed this happens mostly to us girls, as if our gender has anything to do with our interests and how we spend our time. i am just as much of a fan as you are, pretentious-ass fanboy insulting my fan status. get the fuck out and go die in a hole, you creep. i don’t have to justify myself to anyone, no matter whether i’ve seen every episode or a single season, read every book or seen every movie or just one or two. i. am. a. fan. i am a fan and you will like it. i am a fan and i don’t have to prove myself to you.

and the same goes for music and sports and whatever else you’re interested in. like i mentioned before, i’m a huge dodgers fan. got me a sweatshirt and everything. i don’t have the time or energy to go around memorizing the names of every player on the team! i check my box scores, i know the pitchers, i know my favorite players, that’s plenty enough. i don’t have to know every little detail about my team to love it. in general, my rule for whether i’m a fan is this: if i know enough to form an opinion about what i love, i’m a fan. no fancy shmancy triv knowledge or fun facts or anything. if you have a good opinion about what you love, you’re a fan. simple as that.

again with music. i listen to a lot of music, and i prefer to just love it as it comes to me and not really get super obsessed or high and mighty about it. yeah, i know the names of my favorite band members and i know album names and i have opinions on obscure songs when i’m really into a band, but i don’t judge my music knowledge based on whether i know the name of the substitute bassist who occasionally plays in recordings. if i love a band or an album, it’s because i love that band or that album, not because i can name every member of the band and tell you exactly what year this song was released and if it’s the original recording or not. i know people like this, and i am in awe of their capabilities, but at the same time i feel like it takes the fun out of music. if you want to memorize the order of albums and when each of them was released and what kind of guitar the lead singer has in each of them, go ahead. i prefer to let music sink in and just enjoy it without the stress of all that random knowledge.

so here’s what i leave you with. recently, i read this passage on pinterest that is an excerpt from the book the fangirl’s guide to the galaxy. this passage has changed my life. i want it written on everything- my mirror, my walls, my notebooks, just everything. because i’m not really into some of the fandoms mentioned in the original passage, i edited it to fit me the way i sit in the fandom world. here is my version, and i would really encourage you to take it to heart and find the original/create your own version of it.


 

i am a geek girl and i am a feminist

i embrace the word “fangirl” with open arms. i don’t have to prove my nerd cred to anyone, ever. whether i’m an mcu nube, or a fic writer typing up my next chapter, or a hardcore netflix binger who sometimes forgets to sleep (not that i ever do that), no one gets to decide whether i do or do not belong.

from superwholock to book, bandoms, or the phandom, i accept all fandoms and ships as equally meaningful and important in our geek girl lives. even if your otp is my notp, i will still like you (even if i can’t read any of your fic or appreciate your art).

i can wear makeup and tardis mini dresses or a snarky tee and a pair of ripped jeans, and the world has to deal with it; because a geek girl feminist looks however she wants and doesn’t apologize.

i will support empowering, lady-created media and amazing female characters that make me feel like i could be black widow if i wore all black and learned to do a backflip.

i’m river song, not just another companion; buffy, not bella; nobody’s sidekick, love interest, or token female. i’m driving this impala. i am hermione, piper, felicity, charlie, or whoever i decide i am.

i am a fangirl, feminist and a force to be reckoned with.


in conclusion, don’t take any shit from people telling you that you’re not a “real fan” because they say so. you are a fan if you decide you are a fan, and no one can tell you otherwise. love what you love, be who you are, wear your vintage band tees and your tardis hair bows with pride. no one can decide for you whether you’re a fan or not, so go out there and kick some pretentious “real fan” ass.

xxx abi

 

“daily” makeup routine

i’m calling this ten steps, but most of the time i skip three of them, so it’s technically a seven step process. seven isn’t an even number, though, and ten makes more sense, so we’ll call it that.

my usual response to “daily makeup” routine videos is “great, another basic white girl is going to show me products that cost hundreds of dollars and take an hour to completely put on. let’s watch shane dawson put oreos on his eyelids instead, that sounds like much more fun.”

recently, though, i’ve been watching brooklyn and bailey, which is a youtube channel run by twins my age. i did not at all think i would like them, but they’re very relatable to me because they’re literally a couple months older than me and have a video in which one of them does their daily makeup routine and uses literally the same amount of makeup i use. here’s a hint: it’s not very much compared to most people my age.

however, they also use more expensive makeup from sephora and such places, which is a store i stepped into once and have chosen never to return to. it’s a dark, dark place, people. also, the first thing i saw was a $30 eye shadow. a singular eyeshadow. ummmmm noyou can literally get the exact same products at walgreens or fred meyer for 3/4 of that price. they might be a little cheaper quality depending on the brand, but if you know what you’re looking for, it can be well worth it. also, if you’re spending like a $2 on basic stuff like lipgloss or single eyeshadows, you can splurge on the more essential and fancy stuff like foundation and blush, which still only add up to like $12 each from good quality makeup companies like neutrogena or almay. or, if you need a specialized face product, you can splurge on that and save on “accessory makeup” (lip gloss, eye shadow, lipstick, eyeliner, etc.). drugstore makeup is possibly the best thing in the world. also, e.l.f, and if you don’t know what that is, google them. they will change your life.

i have spent many a $20 bill experimenting with drugstore makeup and perusing the makeup aisles in places like walgreens (my personal favorite) or fred meyer (a tad more expensive, but with a few brands walgreens doesn’t carry, like physician’s formula). now don’t get me wrong, i may have spent quite a bit of money on this shit, but that does not at all make me any kind of expert on it. at all. on the contrary, i am the type of person you may refer to as a “late bloomer”. i didn’t know what mascara was until the sixth grade, and still i didn’t learn how to even use it until maybe last year. actually, up until last year, the only makeup i even used was eye shadow, and even then, rarely. needless to say, i come from a rather… interesting girlhood education (let’s just say my mom likes to think that what works on her will work on her children as well, despite the fact that i’m literally three skin tones darker than her and basically never break out unless i’ve used a new product my skin decided it doesn’t like or am bleeding violently out of my hoo-ha). maybe i’ll write a whole other post on that. i probably could, with all the girly shit i’ve had to teach myself how to do over the past few years. and get this, my grandma and sister’s best friend’s mother (it’s way less complicated than it sounds, trust me) are beauticians. how fucked up is it that i didn’t know how to use mascara until last year or that i didn’t know how to straighten my hair until two years ago?! okay that’s it, this is gonna be a whole nother post.

so here i have what i like to call “the 10 step drugstore makeup routine for the girl who literally has to teach herself how do everything girl-related and also has no idea how to. as taught by that same girl, who now sort of knows how to do all those things and would like to make your life slightly easier by showing you what you need and how to use it on a daily basis. also, she found the cheapest shit that works the best so that you don’t have to.” enjoy.


can we please just take a moment to appreciate the fabulousness that is my makeup bag? look at itttttt. it’s just so cute! okay, onto the post.

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here’s what you’re gonna need (i’ve listed everything i only use when i have time as optional, because those are things i don’t do every single day, just when i actually wake up early enough):

  • bb cream
  • moisturizer (optional)
  • concealer (optional)
  • pressed powder
  • blush
  • highlighting pallette (optional)
  • eye primer (optional)
  • makeup wipes (sort of optional)
  • eyeliner
  • mascara
  • lip gloss & chapstick
  • makeup brushes of assorted sizes

so the first thing i usually do is put on bb cream at the same time as my moisturizer. this is a trick i learned from brooklyn and bailey that i haven’t done before, but i do really like it because it makes my face feel softer and provides a good base for everything else.

about 90% of my makeup is e.l.f or neutrogena because they give you the most bang for your buck, especially for a cheap buck. they’re also more natural, better for your skin, and either 100% or mostly cruelty free (which is my number one requirement). e.l.f is 100% cruelty free, and literally the cheapest makeup you can ever find. the bb cream is neutrogena, about $10, and the moisturizer is a derma e formula best for my skin type, about $12.

i usually dot on the bb cream and moisturizer together like above, 2 dots under each eye, 3 across my forehead, 1 on my nose, 1 below it, 1 between my eyebrows, 1 on each cheek, and 2-3 up the sides of my cheeks around my face. you can use your fingers or a beauty blender sponge to blend it all in. if you’re unfamiliar with bb cream, it’s basically a tinted moisturizer that makes your skin all the same color. it can also be a sunscreen, acne cream, and breakout preventer. this one is all those, and it’s absolutely fabulous. i already know that my skin gets red in between and above my eyebrows, on my chin, and below my nose, so i try and focus on those areas.

next is concealer. this is the first step i usually skip on an ordinary day because i don’t usually need it. i have absurdly clear skin, not to brag or anything, but i do, so i don’t really use much concealer. the one place i do really need it, though, is under my nose right next to the edge of my nostril, where i get really bad cystic acne nodules. other than that, the occasional pimple pops up around my period, so that’s the only time i really use it. once again, this is the neutrogena blemish concealer, about $9.50. it has salicylic acid in it, which helps clear up pimples while it covers them.

i am not a fan of full blown liquid foundation because of how heavy it is and how much trouble it is to put on every single morning. i’ve worn it before as stage makeup, and it’s one of the only things that makes me break out horribly whenever i wear it. instead, i prefer to just stick with bb cream and then dust on pressed powder all over my face so it’s not so shiny. the pressed powder i’m using is, surprise surprise, neutrogena healthy skin pressed powder compact. the makeup brushes i have are from e.l.f. they were a birthday present from a couple years ago and the adhesive is coming apart, so i’m saving up for a new set, but they work really well other than that. to apply the pressed powder, i use the full face brush and just dust it all over my face.

next, blush, possibly my favorite because it’s literally so easy. and not in an “omg this is so easy, all you need is three different products and six different brushes and like an hour to work” sort of way. no. this is actually really easy. i’m using the e.l.f baked blush, which was in my christmas stocking. you can get it on their website for like $3. previous to that, i was using a loose powder blush that i could not stand. it was so messy and got everywhere and always used way too much on accident. and that is where this comes in. you literally can not use too much of it and it looks good on every skin tone. i assume you know very well how to use blush. if not, it’s very simple. find the apples of your cheeks, basically by making the face i am in the picture above, and then brushing the powder across them with a smaller powder brush or blush brush. simple.

now that all the face and skin stuff is done, you’re home free. from here, it’s all eye makeup, and like half of it is optional. when i don’t have much time in the morning, i’ll do bb cream, maybe blush, and the next step, which is mascara and eyeliner. first, we do eyeliner. this is, once again, is a neutrogena automatic pencil, about $8. i suck at ordinary eyeliner, so all i do is line my waterline. i’ll usually pull down on my lower lid with my finger and then run the pencil across my lashes and waterline a few times. just make sure not to stab yourself in the eye with the tip and it’s all good. i always do this first so that my eyelashes aren’t all stiff from the mascara, which i do next. this mascara is physician’s formula, 100% organic, and about $10. it’s shaped like a leaf, which i guess is fun, but other than that it’s just your average mascara. and, because mascara is hard and i don’t know anyone who can apply it without getting some all over their eyelids and the surrounding area, makeup wipes are necessary for this process. these are just basic neutrogena makeup wipes, about $5. my mom buys them in bulk (?) from costco, so that’s an option if you use a lot of these like i do. i also really like the burts bees grapefruit makeup wipes, which are also about $5 and are designed for more sensitive skin. also, they smell like grapefruit, and who doesn’t want that?!

these next few steps are all completely optional, to be honest. i only do these when i have to look nice or i actually have time. first, i got this highlighting pallette also in my stocking and i have no idea how to use it so take all this with a grain of salt. this pallette is about $6 and because i don’t know the real purpose for it, i use it the lightest one as an under-eye concealer and the others as eyeshadows (which, for the record, the bottom of it says is perfectly fine because it’s a multi-use product). as you can see from the picture above, i just use my widest eyeshadow brush and brush it below my eyes. next, i take my eyeshadow primer, which is about $3 on the e.l.f site, and dab a dot on each eyelid. i just use my finger to blend it in, and if i don’t have time to add eyeshadow, i leave it as is. it’s just shimmery enough to make it look like i’m wearing eyeshadow when i’m not actually. if i do have time, though, i’ll pick one of the other colors on the pallette and brush them across my eyelid with one of the other eyeshadow brushes.

my very last step is to just brush up my eyebrows and make sure they don’t look like something died in them. already, i have really wiry and bigger eyebrows, so every couple months i wax in between them to prevent “them” becoming “it”. other than that, i don’t really fill in my eyebrows, i just use an eyebrow brush to neaten them up, and if necessary, i’ll pluck the edges if they’re starting to look off. on occasion, if i’m going to a dance or somewhere nice or if they’re looking a little thin, i’ll run my eyebrow brush across my mascara wand and then brush them so that they’ll stay in shape all day and be a little thicker. also, i’ll run an eos across my lips and then add some lip gloss. the ones i’ve been using are the purple eos, about $3, and a neutrogena lip gloss in the color “fruity pink” (who named this and why did they think it would be a good idea), which is about $8.50. despite the horrendous name, i actually really like this lipgloss because it’s not so sticky like most lip glosses tend to get. and thus concludes my so-called “everyday” makeup. FullSizeRender_1


and there you have it! let’s be honest here, that was so much easier than what you’ll see or read anywhere else. also, way cheaper. in all, everything i used adds up to $78, not including all my brushes. this is all stuff i’ve collected over the past few years, and not all of it i’ve bought myself. before you say “omg that’s way too expensive why do you say that’s cheap i don’t have 80 bucks laying around to blow on glorified face paint” let me tell you about an article i read the other day on snapchat discover (i can’t remember which one) in which a writer compared how much a full face of drugstore makeup cost versus how much a full face of “high-end” makeup cost. for her, a full face of “high-end” makeup cost somwhere between $500 and $700, whereas the drugstore makeup totalled to $100. trust me here, it’s worth it. my favorite makeup brands that work, are cruelty-free, and are more “natural” when it comes to ingredients are as follows: e.l.f, neutrogena, almay, and physician’s formula. a few other brands not necessarily makeup related, but beauty related that i use are: alba botanica, paul mitchell, it’s a 10, derma e, and sally hansen.

i hope you enjoyed this and let me know if you want me to do more like it. please tell me if this was helpful to you, and also whether or not you use these products. if you have any recommendations for products, tell me, because i’m always game to spend money on makeup i have no idea how to use! seriously though, just looking up these prices on the e.l.f and neutrogena websites killed me, i want it alllll.

xxx abi