a few things i believe in

so i forgot to post again yesterday (*insert link to britney spears’ oops i did it again music video here*). whoops. yeah, so i pretty much haven’t been home at all this week, so why i decided to say i’d post all week, i have no idea. but because i am a planner and wrote down everything i wanted to say today, i have it all in a notebook and all i had to do to put up this post was copy everything down. yes for organization. okay enough with this intro, moving onto the post i was supposed to put up yesterday.

here are the five concepts i pretty much base my life on:

equality: everyone, no matter their race, gender, sexuality, religion, identity, appearance, etc is equal and human and therefore everyone deserves the same rights and opportunities. also, no one has the right to deny someone either rights or opportunities based on these qualities. 

love: we are called by god to love our fellow human beings and therefore hatred based on someone’s race, gender, sexuality, religion, identity, appearance, etc is superficial and unproductive in the grand scheme of things. i do, however, reserve the right to dislike people based on how they treat others or how they respond to the world. 

curiosity: we should always be asking questions, learning as much as humanly possible, and attempting to understand the complexities of the world in order to create opinions that are realistic, open-minded, and non-judgmental. 

individuality: every person on the planet is entitled to and deserves the right to be who they want to be and express it however they choose. this includes expression in appearance, opinion, and the things they love. as well as this, no one has the right to judge someone based on their appearance or make them feel bad about themselves based on the way they look or what they love. 

balance: no matter how healthy or fit you are, some days you just want to eat an entire container of ice cream and watch tv all day. however, this isn’t something you can just do every single day, so you have to balance out salads and ice cream. this applies to everything we do, be it physically or mentally, there is a time for everything and a way to balance everything in life. when you are on your own time, do things based on your mental state of mind, but do not neglect your responsibilities and obligations as a human being when you must. if that makes any sense at all.

and the final thing i very, very strongly believe in that pretty much covers everything is this: everything is circumstantial. everything we do in life has events that caused it, occurred because of it, and a way that we feel about it. no one can say that your situation is exactly the same as theirs because they have different emotions than you and have gone through different things leading up to it. also, if everything is circumstantial, then nothing is absolute, making most religions, laws, and statements difficult to justify (i am a christian, but this is the reason i have a hard time with a lot of blanket beliefs given by pastors and teachers). we have to take everything with a grain of salt and make sure we understand every detail of a situation before making a judgement on it or ruling that it was wrong or unfair or just plain bad. we should always be informed before creating an opinion.

so that’s pretty much everything i try and keep in mind as i go through life, but they’re only my personal beliefs and you should in no way take this as absolute. i would certainly recommend that you come up with 5 concepts and 1 statement to believe in so that you have something to base your life and actions on. as well as whatever religion you are, because this is in no way a replacement of religion, simply personal beliefs and values. i swear i’ll be back tomorrow, cross my heart and hope to die, so get ready for some talk on mental health.

xxx abi






“fan cred”: a damn rant

wow i am so pissed right now it’s not even funny.

be forewarned, this is something i feel super fucking strongly about, and if you don’t already, by the time i’m done here, you should. at least, that’s my goal.

so here we go. (also, if you want to get super pissed with me while reading this, listen to the skate park punks playlist on spotify)

if you know me at all, you know that i am a full-blown fangirl. like superwholock obsessed, harry potter loving, fanfic and headcanon writing fangirl. if you just sit and have a simple conversation with me, you will walk away with absolutely no doubt that i am a fangirl. it’s simple as that.

i love letting people know what i love and trying to find a common ground with them so that we can have cool and interesting conversations about the things we love that we have in common. if i find out you’re in my hogwarts house, (represent, ravenclaw!) or we have the same favorite doctor (nine appreciation, anyone? nope? okay then), or we both obsessively love categorizing tv characters into mbti types, i will want to talk to you because that’s just what i love! i am a very passionate person, and when i love something, believe me, you will know it.

that having been said, i also feel very strongly about respecting other people’s ships and opinions on their fandoms or, in general, just what they love and are interested in. i do try really hard to respect what people enjoy and their opinions on it because being told that what you love sucks is rough. trust me. on a side note, if you insult my la dodgers, be prepared to fight me. the only time i will hate you for what you love is during baseball season and/or spring training.

this leads into my number one pet peeve: “fan cred”

if you tell me to prove my fucking fan cred or nerd cred to you, i will walk away and never speak to you again you disgusting human being.

“oh you’re a whovian? name all thirteen doctors in order, including the war doctor.”

“oh, i really only watch the new series, sorry, i don’t know the newer doctors. i was about to start the classic series when netflix removed it, so i don’t really have the opportunity to watch the older ones and i also don’t really know the older doctors either. i can name the war doctor-12, though! john hurt, christopher eccleston, david tennant, matt smith, peter capaldi. i know troughton and hartnell and pertwee were the first three but i don’t know what order… i really need to watch those!”

“oh, you don’t watch the classics and you can’t name all thirteen? i guess you’re not a real whovian then, sorry. you should really stop calling yourself one.”

fucking no. 

so you’re telling me that i spent two years of my life watching a few episodes a day and occasionally marathoning to finish a season and be able to call myself a whovian because i’ve seen every episode of the new series for nothing? that because i haven’t spent the time and money to watch the classic series i am not a real whovian? um, no. that shit took time, that shit took grades, that shit took emotions that i am still not prepared to deal with. that shit left me emotionally crippled and unprepared to deal with life and i am not a real whovian because i can’t name all thirteen doctors? get the fuck out.

wait so i can’t call myself a real heroes of olympus fangirl because i can’t name all the cabins and their patron gods and occasionally forget the names of some minor characters? but i’ve read all ten books and hate the movies… why can’t i call myself a cabin 10er? (10 is aphrodite, btw. yes i know, i’m a daughter of aphrodite and a ravenclaw. chill out it’s not that big a deal. i ship literally everything, what else would i be?)

wait so i’m not allowed to be a true sherlockian because i don’t know all the trivia? but i’ve seen every episode and know all the fan theories about moriarty and have my own!

wait so i can’t be in the marvel fandom because i don’t read the comics? i wasn’t raised on comics, i don’t have a comic book store anywhere near me, and i’m not really very good keeping up with that sort of thing… i’ve seen every single one of the movies, though, and i can tell you the names of all the actors and their characters’ real names. like hawkeye is actually clint barton, played by jeremy renner. i still can’t? okay then.

fucking no.

i’ve noticed this happens mostly to us girls, as if our gender has anything to do with our interests and how we spend our time. i am just as much of a fan as you are, pretentious-ass fanboy insulting my fan status. get the fuck out and go die in a hole, you creep. i don’t have to justify myself to anyone, no matter whether i’ve seen every episode or a single season, read every book or seen every movie or just one or two. i. am. a. fan. i am a fan and you will like it. i am a fan and i don’t have to prove myself to you.

and the same goes for music and sports and whatever else you’re interested in. like i mentioned before, i’m a huge dodgers fan. got me a sweatshirt and everything. i don’t have the time or energy to go around memorizing the names of every player on the team! i check my box scores, i know the pitchers, i know my favorite players, that’s plenty enough. i don’t have to know every little detail about my team to love it. in general, my rule for whether i’m a fan is this: if i know enough to form an opinion about what i love, i’m a fan. no fancy shmancy triv knowledge or fun facts or anything. if you have a good opinion about what you love, you’re a fan. simple as that.

again with music. i listen to a lot of music, and i prefer to just love it as it comes to me and not really get super obsessed or high and mighty about it. yeah, i know the names of my favorite band members and i know album names and i have opinions on obscure songs when i’m really into a band, but i don’t judge my music knowledge based on whether i know the name of the substitute bassist who occasionally plays in recordings. if i love a band or an album, it’s because i love that band or that album, not because i can name every member of the band and tell you exactly what year this song was released and if it’s the original recording or not. i know people like this, and i am in awe of their capabilities, but at the same time i feel like it takes the fun out of music. if you want to memorize the order of albums and when each of them was released and what kind of guitar the lead singer has in each of them, go ahead. i prefer to let music sink in and just enjoy it without the stress of all that random knowledge.

so here’s what i leave you with. recently, i read this passage on pinterest that is an excerpt from the book the fangirl’s guide to the galaxy. this passage has changed my life. i want it written on everything- my mirror, my walls, my notebooks, just everything. because i’m not really into some of the fandoms mentioned in the original passage, i edited it to fit me the way i sit in the fandom world. here is my version, and i would really encourage you to take it to heart and find the original/create your own version of it.


i am a geek girl and i am a feminist

i embrace the word “fangirl” with open arms. i don’t have to prove my nerd cred to anyone, ever. whether i’m an mcu nube, or a fic writer typing up my next chapter, or a hardcore netflix binger who sometimes forgets to sleep (not that i ever do that), no one gets to decide whether i do or do not belong.

from superwholock to book, bandoms, or the phandom, i accept all fandoms and ships as equally meaningful and important in our geek girl lives. even if your otp is my notp, i will still like you (even if i can’t read any of your fic or appreciate your art).

i can wear makeup and tardis mini dresses or a snarky tee and a pair of ripped jeans, and the world has to deal with it; because a geek girl feminist looks however she wants and doesn’t apologize.

i will support empowering, lady-created media and amazing female characters that make me feel like i could be black widow if i wore all black and learned to do a backflip.

i’m river song, not just another companion; buffy, not bella; nobody’s sidekick, love interest, or token female. i’m driving this impala. i am hermione, piper, felicity, charlie, or whoever i decide i am.

i am a fangirl, feminist and a force to be reckoned with.

in conclusion, don’t take any shit from people telling you that you’re not a “real fan” because they say so. you are a fan if you decide you are a fan, and no one can tell you otherwise. love what you love, be who you are, wear your vintage band tees and your tardis hair bows with pride. no one can decide for you whether you’re a fan or not, so go out there and kick some pretentious “real fan” ass.

xxx abi


why steven moffat is ruining my life

**warning, sherlock spoilers

if you’re in a fandom or associated with tumblr, you’ve probably heard of steven moffat. if you haven’t, here’s a rundown on his significance to society:

he’s the executive producer, writer, and creator of multiple british television shows, the most significant being doctor who and sherlock.

as it so happens, i watch both of these shows.

this happens to be a very unfortunate coincidence for me, as both of these shows will, in simple terms, cause you to feel all of the feels.

as in all of them.

every single one.

just recently, the sherlock christmas special was released. i didn’t have the opportunity to watch this until just a few days ago, and oh my f***ing god it was horrible and amazing and so many things in between. 

here’s a rundown on why i felt all of these emotions… and more.

  1. i went into this episode thinking it was just going to be a normal, nice christmas special with no connection to the plot and taking place entirely during the time of victorian england. but noooooooo. about 3 quarters of the way through the episode, sherlock wakes up from the mind palace he has apparently been in the entire time, only to be on the plane we left him on at the end of season three.
  2. mary. just, mary everything. mary pregnant. mary caring about sherlock’s well-being. mary getting frustrated with mycroft. mary and john kind of sort of getting along. mary dressing like my great-grandmother and not giving any shits. mary hacking into government databases without a blink of an eye. just… mary.
  3. mycroft. also, basically everything about mycroft. the fact that in his mind, sherlock created mycroft as this fat, lazy, gambling-with-his-own-life sort of character made me laugh so hard because that’s how sherlock purposefully created him. also, caring mycroft with red beard written in his notebook, with a pile of lists that come falling out of his notebook as well. mycroft who cares about his drug addict little brother, mycroft who knows exactly what to do and how to do it because he’s been in this situation before, seeing sherlock high and overdosed.
  4. john. john with a mustache. john having no idea how to do sign language, john without a clue as to what’s going on throughout the whole investigation. john seeing molly when sherlock didn’t, because even the most observant person can pass on the details so easily. john who doesn’t like dead bodies. john who cares about sherlock more than anything in the world, even as much as his own wife. john who knew sherlock had a drug problem, but never realized how much of a problem it really was.
  5. mind palace john having actual emotions, despite him being a product of sherlock’s subconscious.
  6. mind palace moriarty ending the same way every time, until sherlock finally pushes him instead of the other way around.
  7. sherlock leaving the mind palace by jumping from the actual reichenbach falls. like seriously, why must you make me feel these things.
  8. feminist molly.
  9. seriously though, feminist everything. the secret society made up completely of women who wanted equality for the way they were treated, and how sherlock didn’t dare tell anyone about them, as he knew they were right. feminist molly living as a man so she could make her own future. feminist everything.
  10. and, finally: victorian sherlock actually being a mind palace and then not actually and then yes again, and then plane sherlock actually being real life and then not and then yes again and then actually being a mind palace, and then sherlock actually being in a hospital bed but is he, because for all we know he could actually be victorian sherlock with a mind palace of the future and are we all fake? quite possibly because what if we’re all actually sherlock and he’s imagining us watching him go in and out of mind palaces and he made up the tv show and sherlock is actually moffat creating his own mind palace and putting us all in it to suffer because he hates everyone and wants us all to suffer. am i real? is my laptop that i’m writing this on real? is anything real? how do i even know? how do i know that anything’s real anymore? is moffat actually god putting us through lots of feelings? how should i know? i’m just as confused as everyone else.